A Journal for Leon
My dearest
Leon, the Journey for you was a long one and a short one all at the same time.
This journal I’m writing is a little different than the one I wrote for the
Penguins, the embryo we adopted, and the triplets because you are the child
that we get to hold in our arms every day and love on you and kiss you every
day. I cannot picture any other child in our life and any other child to call
us Momma and Dada. However, it was quite
the journey to get you. Dada and I first
talked about adoption when we were engage.
We talked about how we want someday to adopted along with have children
of our own but was not sure how long it
would be or how we would adopted.
Dada and I
were married in 2007 and was hoping to start a family right away. However, it
took us almost eight years of marriage for you to make us finally a Momma and
Dada. In 2010 we started to talk about domestic adopted but after talking to
agency and finding out the cost we got scared away thinking we would not be
able to afford it. Then after trying fertility treatments to have our own biological
child in 2012, and found out from doctors that would never happen. We were then
told about embryo adoption and decided to try that path. I think our main
motivation for embryo adoption was that it cost less and there was no fear of
birth parents changing their mind. So we
adopted 8 embryos that never resulted in a take home baby. After our second
failed embryo transfer of the embryos we decided to start looking into domestic
adoption in fear that embryo adoption would not work out for us. At that time
we still had one embryo left and still wanted to move forward with that
transfer while continuing to pursue private domestic adoption.
We found
out that our home study for the embryo adoption would not work for domestic
adoption so we had to go through a home study all over again. In January 2014 we
start to take the step to complete a home study, asking friends and family to
write reference letters, getting a letter from our doctor saying we are in good
health and so on. In March 2014 we had our home visit with the social worker:
the same social worker that did our embryo adoption home study. It was fun
having her back because there was several changes I had made to the home
daycare and it was fun showing her the changes. Our home study was done in
April of 2014 and it was time to make fliers and try to get the word out that
we were looking to adopt. We also did a few fundraisers to help with the cost
of domestic adoption. We did three yard sales along with bake sales and we sold
T-shirts.
Dada and I
spend one weekend in June driving all over Washington and Oregon posting flyers
saying we were looking too adopt. We
made up business cards to pass out and put up with our flyers and we mailed
flyers to friends and family in other states to put up where they lived. We
made a blog page and a Facebook page and posted all over Facebook. We wrote
letter to Women’s Shelters and other lawyers and gynecologist and sent a letter
to any place we could think of to let people know that we are looking to adopt.
We worked real hard over the summer trying to get the word out and fund-raise.
But we were not able to raise much money and all our hard work of getting the
word out did not pay off. We were also
trying to move forward with our last embryo transfer but my doctor in Seattle
was not letting us move forward at the time. While waiting I end up getting
pregnant naturally with triplets but miscarried all three at 8 weeks. Then
three weeks after the miscarriage, our lawyer in Seattle called and said that
there was a baby girl that was born that morning and the parents were looking
to place her up for adoption. Our lawyer asked if we wanted our profile to be
shown and we said yes. Then the next day our lawyer called and told us they
picked another couple. A month later, our lawyer called saying another baby
girl was born that morning and did we want our profile shown: we told him yes.
That baby was born early and had to stay in the hospital for a while, and it
took her birth parents a week to decide to parent her. Around the same time we got a call from
someone that saw our Facebook page. She said she was pregnant with twins lived
in North Carolina and her and the birth dad wanted an open adoption. With
living so far away we did not know how that would work having an open adoption
so we said no. I found out later from a Facebook group that the North Carolina
birth mom was a scam, and never even was pregnant. We also had two other people
try to scam us but it did not go far: one person I know right way was a scam
from a friend from Facebook warning me because had contacted them first.
In January
2015 I was getting ready for our last embryo transfer because my doctor in
Seattle was going to finally letting us move forward with our last embryo
transfer with the last embryos we had left after adopting them in
May 2013. There were several doctor appointment I had to get my body ready for
transfer and one of the appointment was on January 15, 2015 the same day a
special little boy named Leon was born.
While we getting ready for the transfer we also got a call from our
lawyer that there was a 16 year old expectant mother that was due the begin of
March was looking to place her baby for
adoption and he was wondering if we wanted our profile shown we said yes. Even
though we were weeks from doing our embryo transfer we thought we would try for
both. So on January 29th we go to Seattle for our embryo transfer
and as we walked through the door to the doctor we found out that the embryo
never made the thaw: the transfer was off. The next day we got a call from our
lawyer and found out the expectant mother that was due in March and picked a
family with agency. Then a few weeks later we found out that our home study was
only good for a year and was 2 month from expiring. So Dada and I had some
thinking to do of what we wanted to about our home study.
A little over a month later on March 8th 2015
we were talking together about what we want to do about our home study. It was
a month from expiring and we didn't know what we wanted to do. We both told
each other that maybe it was ok if we were meant to be a childless couple. We
just felt like doing a private domestic adoption with a lawyer was not working
out for us. For some people it works and it cost a lot less than going with an
agency. And we were not sure if working with agency would work either so we
thought we need to face the facts. Then on March 9th, our social
worker who had been working with us for 2 years now and knew us well called me.
She told me she had a friend with an adoption agency in Missouri and her friend
was look to share couples profiles to some birth parents of a 2 month old. Leon, that little baby was you. She also
asked if we want the agency info to e-mail our profile. We thought since the
agency was willing to show our profile without signing with them beforehand we
had nothing to lose but the hour or two it would take to transfer our profile
book from Shutterfly into a word document. So we e-mailed off our profile, not
excepting to hear a word. After all we were thinking it was just in our cards
to be childless, and this was our last try for domestic adoption. Our profile
was shown the next day on Tuesday the 10th and Wednesday the 11th we get a call
from the agency saying that the birth parents liked our profile and want to
meet us and only us. She then asked how fast we could get to Missouri from
Washington State. As soon as I got off the phone I called Dada's School. I said
that I was Sean's wife and I need to talk him ASAP. They got Dada on the phone
and I asked him how fast we can get to Missouri. He told me he would get right on that. He
then text me and told me we could be there the next day. So Thursday we were on
a plane and Friday, Leon, we met your birth parents for breakfast. The meeting
with your birth parent went great and we talked to them for 3 hours. Then the
next day, we got to meet you. We met at the agency first, then they put you in
the car we had rented and we followed them to the mall. The four of us hung out
at the mall with you for 4 hours. Your birth mom and I even picked out a outfit
for you.
Later that
night your birth parents called us up and we went out to dinner and a movie
while you stayed with your grandmother on your birth mom's side. It was good
night but I was tired and had trouble staying awake during the move. The next
day Sunday, March 15th, the day you turn 2 months old, we did not do
anything with your birth family or you. Dada and I wanted to give your birth
family one last full day with you before you came to be with us. That Sunday
night we texted Liz at the adoption agency and she text your birth parents to
see if we were still on for the next day to sign parental right termination
papers. On Monday, March 16th, we get a text from your birth mom 25 minutes
from signing saying that your birth dad could not sign and want to find a way
to still parent. Our hearts were breaking at the news. We had already fallen in
love with you so much. But not only were are hearts breaking for us, we were
also sad for you because we know with
all our hearts that we could give you a better life than what you your birth
parents could give you. I was not mad at them; we could not be because we know
that having to place a child up for adoption has to be very difficult. I could
not eat anything for breakfast or lunch. Grandma and Grandpa happen to be in
Cincinnati, OH, visiting Uncle David, Aunt Megan and Cousin Drew. Grandpa and
Uncle David were driving to St. Louis to
pick Dada and I up because we need to return the Rental car and we not ready
yet to get on a airplane without you. We thought, we would give it a few days
before we flew home to Washington.
Well, four
hours after being told that your birth parents were not sign the papers, your birth
mom called and told us they were on their way to the lawyer office and ask if
we could come back and get you. We were almost to St. Louis so we told her we
would turn around and come back. We just know that we had to do whatever it
took to get you back in our arms.
We showed up at the adoption agency before your birth parent
came with you. They had to meet with their lawyer and had schedule to meet with
the gal at the agency afterward, so when they showed up we got you from them.
We waited for them to be done with their meeting and signed papers with our
lawyer while we waited because the lawyer shared an office with the adoption
agency. After your birth parents were done, we took pictures then got your car
seat base and stroller out of their car. After leaving the adoption agency we
had to find a new hotel room since we had given ours up earlier that morning.
Grandpa Jim and Uncle David decided to come and meet you that night since they
were already on the road. That night your birth parents came to our hotel and
brought your clothes and some of your stuff we would be able to fly home
with. We end up shipping your stuff
home.
The next
morning you had your 2 month checkup at your pediatrician in Missouri and your
birth mom met us there. The appointment was made way before adoption plan was
in place. Then on Wednesday the 18 of
March we went to court to be able to become your legal guardians. The gal at
the agency thought that since our FBI finger prints were over a year old we
needed to redo them so we could get clearance to move you out of Missouri. So
Dada and I went to a place that we could do it electronically and have results
and clearance within hours. We got Dada's prints back right way. However, mine
where a different story as they had been throughout this whole adoption
process: my prints came back unreadable. So we had to do them again and do them
a third time too. Because we knew that they would be a problem, we keep calling
the company to see if we needed to do them again. We did the prints three times
and all three came back and the company even ran them a fourth time and they
still came back unreadable. So we went
to the State portal office and they told
us all they could do was try to get me in to do a background check by using my
name but that it would take 8 weeks. We were told that we could not leave the
state with you until we could get my FBI background check to go through.
Missouri said that they were ok with the fact my background check was 13 month
old but they are afraid that Washington was not going to be ok with it. Not
knowing what else to do, we e-mailed our lawyer in Washington to see if he
could be of any help. He told us that Washington had a rule that the finger
prints need to no more than 18 month old so we were good. Because of my
fighting with my finger prints, we stayed in your birth city until Friday the
20th . That night we drove to St. Louis thinking that we would just
return the rental car and stay in a hotel in St. Louis until we were told we
could take you out of Missouri. However, it turned out that I had some friends
from back in college who live in St. Louis and saw on Facebook that we were in
Missouri, so they offered to let us stay with them, so we kept the car and
stayed at their place so we did not have to pay for a hotel.
Then on
Friday March 27th we go the call that we had clearance to leave the
state with you. However, we had a hiccup: the Missouri Child Division had been
called when you where one month old. We did not know what it was about, just
that there was a concern about you.
After you had been placed with us, they went back to the house to check
up on you without knowing that you had been place with us and that we had court
papers for you. So we had to drive you back to your birth city so they could
see you in person and see your court papers. After we cleared stuff up with
Child Division, we took you to Cincinnati, Ohio to meet Cousin Drew and Aunt
Megan. We stayed at Drew’s Nana's house and you used Drew’s crib at her house.
Because of the extra four hour drive back to your birth city, we did not get to
Cincinnati until one am Cincinnati time. We end up staying and hang out with
Uncle David, Aunt Megan, Cousin Drew and Drew’s nana until Thursday March 31st
because that when the cost of airplane tickets had gone down. You cried the
whole flight home to Seattle. That was the only time you have ever thrown such
a fit. We end up getting into Seattle really late the night of the 31st.
Aunt Tracy picked us up from the airport in our car and we took her home. We
were going to drive straight home that night but the pass was closed and no one
we know had a crib for you to sleep in so we had to get a hotel that night. The
next morning when we woke up the pass was open so we were able to get on the
road and take you home to our house. So Mr. Leon, of all days to bring you
home, we got you home and April 1st : April Fool’s day.
We had to wait 6 month to be able to finalize your adoption.
We had to meet with our social worker for three post placement visits. She wrote
report for the courts in Missouri to see and knew that you were doing great in
our house. In that first six months, we had Meet and Greet parties for people
to meet you and everyone one fall in love with you. We face time a few time with your birth parents
and you and Momma even got to fly to
South Carolina so you could meet your 5 cousins and your Aunt Karie and Uncle
Steve in August. You fell in love with their cat Dixi. After we got back from South Carolina, our
lawyer in Missouri called and told me that Dada and I needed to sign papers and
get them notarize so we could finalized your adoption out of court. We chose to
finalize out of court so that we could stay in Washington. The judge had to
wait for you to be in our house for 6 month before he could sign off on your
finalization. On September 18th, 2015 while you were napping in your crib, Dada
was at work teaching high school and the daycare kids where in the house
happily playing, Momma got a e-mail form our lawyer that your adoption was
finalized and that you legally had our last name.
Leon, Dad
and I love you with all our hearts and we are so lucky that you are our son and
that you are forever ours.
Love
At the Airport waiting for our flight to MO
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